He is an equal opportunity slut.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
