Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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