I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
