real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
