And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
