what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
