Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
