this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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