im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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