I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
