It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
