Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
nutella sex= disaster
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
