Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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