hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
