i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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