im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
