Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just found puke in my bra..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
