Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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