I puked a lego.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
