He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
