We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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