idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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