Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
