so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize