Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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