Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
