i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
