My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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