i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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