I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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