I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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