ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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