WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You are a genius and a whore.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
