So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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