The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
