Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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