Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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