My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
