He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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