no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
