i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
