My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
