I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
