How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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