i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
