Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
