kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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