we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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