Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
