just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
