If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
