where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize