if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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