Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
