once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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