Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
