i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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