Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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