Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
