He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
