Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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