ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
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