She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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