And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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