i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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