Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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