Don't you send me to vm
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
