am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
