We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
