Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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