Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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