at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
