no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
