Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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