Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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