I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
This is the high leading the old right now
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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