Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
